I'll Fix You
by iamnumbernine
Summary: Cato's thoughts after Clove's death and up to his. Songfic for Fix You by Coldplay. Sorry for the rambling.


_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_

_When you get what you want, but not what you need_

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_

_Stuck in reverse_

I tried Clove. I tried to save you. I tried. I know that at the beginning, I wanted you dead. I was going to be the victor this year, no doubt about it. You were part of a temporary alliance and I shouldn't get too close to you. You were going to die anyway. So why was I so upset when you died? Because I still need you. We could have both gone home Clove. I'm so tired but I need to hunt down Thresh. I know that's what you would want. I can't find him. I can't find him. I need to sleep but I can't. I'm afraid I'll be too late again in my nightmares. I don't want to relive that.

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

_When you lose something you can't replace_

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

I was too late Clove, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're irreplaceable and I've lost you. I found out I could keep you and I let myself examine the feelings I had for you but they've all gone to waste because I never acted on them and now you're gone.

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you_

Follow the lights Clove. Maybe they'll lead you to a better place. A place where children aren't trained and expected to fight to the death. A place where people are happy when others are happy, not happy to see bloodshed. I tried. I tried to fix you. The wound was too deep and I was too late.

_And high up above or down below_

_When you're too in love to let it go_

_But if you never try you'll never know_

_Just what you're worth_

I have to kill Eleven Clove. I realize now that I love you. Your death will not go unpunished. We got cocky. We knew the rule change was for "the star-crossed lovers from Twelve" but we knew we could beat them. Why did you take so long to kill her Clove? Why? Why? You could still be here and we could go home. You were worth so much more than this.

_Tears stream down on your face_

_When you lose something you cannot replace_

_Tears stream down on your face_

_And I..._

I'm sitting here in a cave, crying, trying to hide from the cameras. This is what you have reduced me to Clove! The strong, unbeatable sword master from Two now wailing like a baby, choking back sobs. I've killed Eleven for you. I don't feel any better though.

_Tears stream down on your face_

_I promise you I will learn from my mistakes_

_Tears stream down on your face_

_And I..._

I finally fall asleep and see you again. I reach out and touch your beautiful face. I'm shocked to feel that your face is wet and shiny with tears that have poured from your eyes. I pull you into my arms and try to soothe you. I start crying too. "It isn't your fault Cato," you murmur against my chest as I'm sobbing again. "Clove, I'm sorry! Just know that I lo—" And then I wake up and you're gone once more. And again, I didn't get to tell you. I stand up and hear growls. The Gamemakers want to finish with a show. I sprint to the Cornucopia. It isn't far from here. I hoist myself up on top of it and see Fire Girl and Lover Boy running to the Cornucopia. While I am waiting for them to join me up here and I can kill them, I see a mutt slightly ahead of the rest in their race to the Cornucopia. It is small with dark fur, and, as far as I can tell, dark eyes too. I look at the other mutts. They're all sizes and colors. I see a huge one with dark fur and one smaller than the first I saw also with dark fur. But there is medium sized one with orangish fur. And another one that size with—the only word for its fur color is blond. There has to be at least 20 of the mutts. Oh god. They're all of the tributes. The orange one is that girl from Five and the blond one is Glimmer. Then…that means…the first one I saw is you Clove. How could they do this? That's so sick.

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you_

As I fall off of the Cornucopia, I realize I don't care. I did try to win for us but I wouldn't want to live without you anyway Clove. Let another pair of lovers win. I fall into a smaller pack of the mutts. They start chewing at my skin. The agony! I try to put myself into another place, a place where you are, but the pain is so intense that it doesn't work. I pray for a swift death so I can see you. I somehow hear Fire Girl nock an arrow. She's a merciful person. I hear the arrow fly and smile. I see you.

**A/N: This is the result of too many hours stuck in a car with my two siblings (don't really know how that works, but alright). I was reading Clato fanfics while listening to my mp3 player then Fix You came on and it seemed very Clato-like. I realize it's kind of all over the place. Ugh. I can't decide my feelings on it. Please review!**


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